Through this series with Townsend Draft Goods, Betsy shares simple, meaningful ways to bring mindfulness and meditation into everyday life.
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The other day, my husband came home from work and said, “I did 16-seconds on the freeway again today.”
If you’ve driven on a Southern California freeway, you understand. The traffic moves fast - usually 75 to 85 mph - yet somehow still feels slow, because you're constantly checking mirrors, changing lanes, braking, watching for motorcycles white-lining. And it’s so easy to get upset. Frustrated. Filled with rage at the driver who won’t let you over or the one who just cut you off. It’s no different when I’m driving in the mountains and the tractor is on the road causing traffic to barely move, yet there’s no place to pass and I want to get to my destination without being late.
But here’s the truth:
We can’t always control what happens, but we can always choose how we respond.
One of the first mindfulness tools I learned from my meditation teacher was something called 16-seconds. It’s a simple breathing yet powerful breathing technique - and it’s something I return to again and again, especially in moments of stress or irritation. You can do it with your eyes open - perfect for situations like driving on the freeway - or with your eyes closed if you’re in a safe space and want to center yourself more deeply.
Interesting fact that many elite military units, including Navy SEALs, use a very similar
technique called Box Breathing (also known as Four-Square Breathing). This practice is a foundational tool in their mental resilience and stress management training.
Living in Southern California, where Navy SEALs train, I have the privilege of working with
senior-level military members transitioning into the civilian workforce. I often teach them how to use this simple breath technique to calm nerves before networking events and job interviews.
Here’s how it works:
- Inhale slowly for 4 seconds
- Hold that breath for 4 seconds
- Exhale slowly for 4 seconds
- Hold again for 4 seconds
That’s it! 16 seconds.
Just one round can shift your state of mind. Your body softens. Your nervous system starts to settle.
Real Life is the Practice
- Let’s be honest - life offers no shortage of opportunities to practice this.
- The person who cuts you off in traffic.
- The tractor slowing you down on the country road.
- The one who takes the parking spot you were clearly waiting for (cue the Fried Green Tomatoes movie parking lot scene).
- The rude waitress.
- The co-worker who talks over you in meetings.
- The parent snapping at their child.
- The child crying in the store.
Our minds instantly go into judgment: How rude. What a jerk. She’s so unprofessional. He has no idea what he’s doing.
But what if we paused? What if—just for a moment—we took a breath
Could that person who cut me off be rushing to the hospital?
Maybe that waitress is a single mom working three jobs and was up all night with a sick child.
Perhaps that parent just lost their job. That crying child just lost their father.
We don’t know what others are carrying. But we do know this:
We always have a choice to judge or to offer compassion.
A Breath. A Pause. A Choice.
That 16-second breath gives us just enough space to choose again.
To soften instead of react.
To respond instead of explode.
To live from presence, not assumption.
The more we practice taking that 16-second pause before reacting, the more natural it becomes.
It’s like training a new muscle. Over time, that pause becomes a pathway rewiring how we
respond to stress, frustration, or discomfort. We begin to shift from reactive mode to presence. It’s a mind-shift - and it’s one we can choose.
Try This
The next time you're in traffic…
Or the waitress is rude…
Or the parent is yelling…
Whoever or whatever the situation is - try this:
- Pause.
- Close your eyes if you can.
- Take one round of the 16-second breath.
- As you breathe, say to yourself: “Just breathe.”
Just one breath. One pause. One moment of mindfulness.
That’s how we begin to shift - not perfectly, but intentionally.
This is mindfulness.
It’s not about escaping life’s challenges, it’s about meeting them with more awareness, more calm, and a little more space to respond instead of react.
And the more you practice, the more natural it becomes.
May you find moments throughout your day to pause, breathe, and gently return to yourself one breath at a time.
✨ About the Author
Betsy is a certified meditation teacher and career coach based in Southern California. She’s been practicing meditation since 2018 and became certified through the davidji Master of Wisdom & Meditation Teacher Training Academy in 2024. With over 20 years of experience in career development, she also serves as an adjunct professor in the California State University system and is the co-founder of a veteran service organization.
